are you so shy because you have an std?
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
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