I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Randomize
