Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Randomize
