just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
