Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Success! We fucked roommates!
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
