You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
