She's JV to your varsity
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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