im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
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