dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Randomize
