We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
