I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
that may or may not have been my penis.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
