I just saw a hot homeless man
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
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