i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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