OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
someone owes me an orgasm
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
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I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
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