I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
