Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
