I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Randomize
