if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Randomize
