Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
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