just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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