yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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