so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
