Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
