Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Randomize
