I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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