the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
I wish i was in the wii world.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
