Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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