I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
