I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
