U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
