All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
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