I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
