i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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