i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Randomize
