hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
