He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
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