Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
You made out with two different species that night
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
