You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
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