Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Randomize
