What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
