girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
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