i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
