I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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