Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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