I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
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