Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Randomize
