i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
