You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
