u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
