the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Houston, we have a blender
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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