she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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