My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
