I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
COCAINE IS GR8
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
