I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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