I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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