i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I am naked and annoyed.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
