Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize