"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
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