Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
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