i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Randomize
