some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
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