im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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