I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
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