My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
