She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
You brought string cheese to the strip club
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
