This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Randomize
